We give our Presidents one Day
To honor all they do and say—
At least those things selective memory
Allows us to account exemplary.
We hail the Father of our Nation,
And Jefferson's great Declaration,
But don't remember Mart Van Buren
Whose fame was not that long endurin'.
We think of Lincoln who was shot
(Not Ford, however, who was not)
And Teddy, who could shoot a bear—
Unless it were just tethered there.
There've also been Vice Presidents
Worthy of remember-ance,
Like Stevenson and Burr—oh, say…
Perhaps, should they have their own day?
Remember Colfax, Fairbanks, Dawes—
Such names are sure to give us pause—
Wheeler, Breckinridge, and Gore,
Need I list you any more?
Marshall, Mondale, Morton, Dallas,
All lived in the V.P. palace,
Serving valiantly and decently,
At least we thought so, up till recently.
Dick Cheney shot his hunting buddy
And made his face and shirt all bloody—
Ironically, while hunting Quail…
Ah—that DOOMS "Vice-Presidents Day" to fail!
—Anon A. Mouse