Am-iraq-anization

We've given now the freedom to Iraq
(In spite of frequent roadside bomb attack)
To join the bliss of nations democratic—
If the changes there do not prove too traumatic.

For each aspiring governmental artisan
Must firstly learn the art of being partisan:
To brag of all the things for which they've voted—
But when pinned down, just say they were misquoted.

They'll need to learn from Washington, D.C., city
How to kill important measures in committee,
But pass bills that make their district well-affected,
So they're sure to be forever re-elected.

They must strengthen their ability to define
Tax HIKES in such a way they seem benign,
And when they are as high as they can get,
Tax CUTS that only make them higher yet.

They must learn the skill of negative campaigning,
And of freely running down whoever's reigning—
Of which few, if any, practitioners remain,
Those proficient having been disposed of by Hussein.

So welcome, free Iraqis, to the world;
Let your flag, with all ours, be unfurled.
But with such freedoms as we've given them, Iraq
Might decide they'd rather now have Saddam back.

                                        —O. Nonymous

                                                                                        © 2004