I'm Joining the Hair Loss Club for Men

Don't you think it's funny, when you're losing hair in ONE place,
That no one seems to notice that you DO still have hair SOME place?
They love to reminisce that "amber waves of hair once grayed there,"
But now there's the appearance that linoleum's been laid there.

Do you remember Chuck Mangione?  He always wore a hat;
Long hair flowed out from underneath it—I remember that.
But if he had removed it, you'd have likely been appalled
To see that what it covered up was absolutely bald!

Or how about Cal Ripkin?  You would think Lou Gehrig's heir
Would have found a way to keep intact the longest streak of hair.
But underneath his baseball cap his iron locks were thinning
(Perhaps because his Orioles were almost never winning).

Though neither one of them was ever picked on for his hair loss,
Mine's teased by shaggy youths who can't envision someday THEIR loss.
But never mind.  I'll join the crowd.  I'll laugh with all the jokes.
I'll make believe full heads of hair are meant for other folks.

Besides, these days the Yul Brynner hairdo says "success"—
Just look at Michael Jordan, a.k.a. His HAir(less)ness.
So maybe someday soon (now kids, don't you try this at home)
I'll accidentally…mistake my razor for a comb.

                                      —Anon A. Mouse

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