Better Hurry—Auld Lang’s About to Resyne
The time for resolutions is upon us,
That time for being mercilessly honest:
In a mute, discrete confession
For the year’s build-up of flab appearing on us—
We look more like a Jabba than a ’Donis.
Yup, the time for resolutions has arrived;
We’re perplexed how, in this shape, we have survived:
Our increased avoirdupois
From too much Mardi Gras…
But our comfy-chubby state will be short-lived—
As long’s we keep our appetites deprived.
Wow, the time for resolutions got here fast;
Now our dismal New Year’s diet’s die is cast:
To make ourselves more pallory,
We’re eschewing every calorie
To purge the pudge our personage amassed—
Better do it ’fore this week’s resolve has passed.
—Anon Avoirdupois Mouse