Resolute Resolution Resolve

or,

Better Hurry—Auld Lang’s About to Resyne

The time for resolutions is upon us,
That time for being mercilessly honest:
                              Admitting indiscretion
                              In a mute, discrete confession
For the year’s build-up of flab appearing on us—
We look more like a Jabba than a ’Donis.

Yup, the time for resolutions has arrived;
We’re perplexed how, in this shape, we have survived:
                              Our increased avoirdupois
                              From too much Mardi Gras…
But our comfy-chubby state will be short-lived—
As long’s we keep our appetites deprived.

Wow, the time for resolutions got here fast;
Now our dismal New Year’s diet’s die is cast:
                              To make ourselves more pallory,
                              We’re eschewing every calorie
To purge the pudge our personage amassed—
Better do it ’fore this week’s resolve has passed.

                                                 —Anon Avoirdupois Mouse