We’ve departed from honoring good Honest Abe
To esteeming the one who made less than the Babe
And that “Read-my-lips-folks-no-new-taxes” guy.
“How far we have fallen!” traditionalists cry,
Pining for the Fathers-of-our-Country
On whose second-month birthdays they’d come to rely;
Now they’re ready for some no-holds-barred confrontery.
They’re not dissing the Harrisons, Johnsons, or Polks,
They know that these all are elite sort of folks,
The kind who think don’t-ever-think-you-can’t.
But our “Presidents’ Day” was (if anyone cares)
The result of shifting-market-paradigm:
To move George, Abe, and others from your purse to theirs...
—Anonest Abe Mouse