The Cassowary: Somebody Needs to Talk Turkey to that Bird*


Y’know, Maybe There’s a Reason You’re an Endangered Species

You’d best be wary
Of a cassowary:
If you happen by mistake to make one mad,
It’ll aim its claw
And slice you raw,
And if its beefy drumstick kicks you, then—egad.

But the cassowary
Best be wary:
If it constantly keeps acting like a beast,
It’ll be exported—
Drawn and quarte’d—
For a HUGE American Thanksgiving feast!


*And say, “Why, we’d be GLAD to have you for Thanksgiving!”