I’m told that they’re dropping the middle initial
Of anyone who’s anybody –
A hip kind of move that they probably wish’ll
Make me look like an old fuddy-duddy.
You see, I’m “Anon A.” – an important initial
(What it stands for, though, no one’s quite sure);
It’s a lamb I’m not planning to make sacrificial
On the altar of littérateurs.
Now, how could they think this would seem beneficial
To those who have gone on before,
Who distinguished themselves with a middle initial
(Even if not a whit more)?
Think who in the olden days used an initial:
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry – and Smith.
But now we’re supposed to sound not so official,
And be happy without, ’stead of with.
And how would this progress make FDR feel?
Or JFK, or LBJ?
My guess is, they’d call it a “Rotten New Deal” –
And then make the GOP pay.
That letter between must seem too superficial
To the gurus who make up such dope:
“The distinction it’s making it so artificial.”
“There are times that it’s even downright prejudicial.”
“SO DOWN WITH THE DASTARDLY MIDDLE INITIAL!!”
John (Q.) Public will just have to cope.
—A non-A. Mouse