Necessity is the Mother of a Purchase

I’ve got a brand new, bright red mower
So I’ll be mowing in a whole new different way;
My old one mowed much slower –
That once-wonderful ol’ oh-point-one-hoss shay.

Yes, a brand new, red grass-cutter
(The old one, on a time, was also red)
That will cut warm grass like butter
Was what I needed – cuz that old one now is dead.

My brand new, bright red yard machine
Makes a 21” cut – whaddaya think of that?!
It’ll be the fastest job you’ve ever seen –
I’ll mow my quarter-acre lot in two days flat!

The deck can raise or lower,
For whether mowing grass in meadow, copse, or gulch.
Ah...a brand new, bright red mower...
Do I like it? Yes, I like it very mulch!

                                         —Anon A. Mows