Resistance Is Futile—But I’m Submitting a Bill for Over-age

                You can’t be 60—you can’t!
                I shan’t allow it—I shan’t.

Your birthday this week seems so unrealistic—
An unwelcome, unwanted and misplaced statistic,
Barbaric, sardonic, perverse, and sadistic.

                It doesn’t seem right—it doesn’t!
                I wasn’t prepared—I wasn’t.

You can make like you’re 60—oh sure, like, that’s fine—
And I don’t like to gripe and I don’t like to whine,
But you look like you’re more like a young 59.

                You don’t seem perturbed—you don’t!
                I won’t ever admit it—I won’t.

You cannot be 60—I won’t let it be!
And here is one very good reason: you see...
If you’re 60 now, well then...what’s that make me?!

                                                           —almOst 60mous