Cold Enough For Ya?

From North Dakota’s snowy plain
Where subzero wind chill factors reign,
And right through to the coast of Maine,
Cold spread through the nation:
The breath of Old Man Winter’s mouth
Reached way down into Dixie-South
Where they don’t know sand nor salt nor plowth –
Nor even insulation.

But back up North they felt the love:
Minnesota’s freezing gov
Proclaimed an edict from above
(Above absolute zero, I mean),
Closing schools throughout the state,
In view the tumbling temp’ture rate,
Upon the (then up-coming) date
Of January 6th, ’14.

Next door, Wisconsin’s fate was sealed:
The cold as well refused to yield
So out on Lambleau-Zero Field
Each punter/passer/sprinter
Was scrambling to find a way
Of staying warm enough to play –
But y’know, here’s all I have to say:
Hey, guess what? It’s winter!

                          —A. Hibernating Mouse