Nikratés, Corrupting the Youth

Or,

I Know Why He Talks to God When He’s Up on the Wire:
Nobody Else Dares to Go Out There with Him

Or,

Just Wait for the Stunt Where the Spectators Will Be Kramden—er, Crammed In

      It seems that Nik Wallenda
      Is trying hard to senda
Mixed
message to our kids—it makes me quiver
      That wherever he may roam,
      He says, “Don’t try this at
home…”
But it’s
okay above the Colorado River?!
      I hear, next up in his capers
      He’ll waltz between
skyscrapers –
But I’ll
tell ya what it’s gonna come to soon:
      First, some mountain-hopping
antic,
      And, doubtless, crossing the
Atlantic…
      Then…
                            <Drum Roll>
“Nik Wallenda…Follows Alice…to the MOON!”

                                    —O. Nikymous