Sunspots

2013

June
Spring Is in the Air, But Don’t Be a Birdbrain
Vegetable Garden Woes’ Root Cause
After the First Day of Summer, It’s All Downhill
Nikratés, Corrupting the Youth

July
The Fourth of July, By Any Other Name, Would Still Be Cause for Celebration
In a Hurry to Get Hitched
There Goes the Neighborhood
Ineffable

August
Speaking to Them in the Language of Their Gizzard
Keep Your Trappist Shut
There’s A Time for Everything (Ecclesiastes 3)

September
Whoever Looks At the Clouds (Ecclesiastes 11)
Keeping Your (Second) Child(hood) Under Control
The Mouse
The Wrong Sort of Bees

October
Book Spellin’ Is Overrated
More Femme Fatale-ities Than You Can Shake a Speare At
Lines About a Woolly Bear of Very Little Brain
The Last Thing We Knew, We The People Were Still the Government
They’re A-Changin’ All Right—In Degrees, If You Know What I Mean
Migraine, Yourgraine, Americasgraine

November
The Sentiment in Red Sox Nation
Leafed Alone in the Dark
Eleventh-Month Amnesia
Pil-Grim-Age

December
Ya Snooze Ya Lose
What Began 25 Years Ago With a C, Ended With a Y, But Continues to Be?
The Three Gifts
The Non-Desolation of Smaug

2014

January
Trust the Mad Doctor…He’s Only Holding a Chain Saw Because He’s a Tree Surgeon
Cold Enough For Ya?
Neigh, or Nay?
Overheard
Two Tales of Too Cities

February
The Year the Broncos Lost the Pennant
I ♥ ME
Sorryascuse
Sliding on Ice
Mooooooooooose!!!!!

March
Happy Birthday to Yeuss!
Birthday Advice from Little Brother
I Could Syruptitiously Fly South, But Instead I Choose to Sticky Around
USS `Я΄ US

April
Happy (?) Birthday to Mouse
Sour Gripes
W-2 To You, Too
Baffled? Just a Titch

May
Ad Lib Notes, Off-Key and On
Here's a Capital Punishment Idea: Talk Them to Deaf
Gradjumatation Times Two
You Don't Know the Heifer of It
Mousa Culpa

June
The Never-Changing Ever-Changing: Alfred's Lone Traffic Light Turns 40
Shock (Hair) Treatment
Still Priceless, I Guess
Necessity Is the Mother of a Purchase

July
The Fourth of July By Any Other Name Would Still Be Cause for Celebration
History, I'm Repeating Myself
The Lord of the Hoops: The Return of the King
Depunctuation

August
Cutting Out the Middle Man...'s Middle Initial
The Seussian Tree
Waspishnesst

September
The Deep-Sea Acorn Worm
I $ NY
The Last Laugh
What I Should Read Is Something That's a Mystery to Me

October
N0 D42re2pect Intended
Sticking with Alfred's Sun Even After Alfred's Sun Stuck it to Us
Mos(quito) Murderer
From Bach to Brahms—a Winner-Take-All Competition
Resistance Is Futile—but I'm Submitting a Bill for Over-age

November
Three Strikes and You're Out, I Know, But the Third Time's a Charm
Virginia Is for Drivers؟?
And I Don't Mean 42
Buffalsnowbound

December
No Odditea At Our House
To the Tune of Jolly Old St. Nicholas
Dental Hygenius or Genial Hydentist? HA! Miss DDPMS Is Neither
The Three Horsemen of the ApoC-hristmas

2015

January
Do Not Go Gentle Into That New Year
See-Saw Weather
All's Well That Ends Senile
Atheillogical

February
If HE Won't Eat His Words, I WILL
The Prickly, Tickly Valentine
White House Residents Day
What Froze Up Must Falls Down

March
Schrödinger’s Spock
O, Beware the Pi of March!
Wordsworthless
The Camel & Man Gave Names to All the Camels

April
Dygertimento
H2Little
Company's Comin'
You May Celebrate, Or You May Third

May
For Whom the Tick Ticks: It Ticks for Thee
Specter Spectating
Just Like Those Footballs
Gimme a Break—Preferably Sometime When It Might Actually Be Helpful

June
Offomatorocker
Flagging Fatherhood
Rip Van Philae
Facebook Has Gone to the Dogs 
It's Gonna Take Me Awhile to Figger This Thing Out

July
Independence Gay Celebration
Worlloyd Cup
Sadism at Its Best
Back In the Solar System's Good Graces

August
I'm Sure Your Vacation Plans Are Out of this World
The JONNY SEZ! Program
P.E.P.

September
Eating (My Heart) Out While (My Dinner Was) Being Stabbed in the Back
McKinley By Any Other Name Would Still Be As Steep
Making Change: Anybody Got Two $20s for a $10?
We Stooped to Concord

October
Yogi-ism'ts
Apoc-eclipse
Intermina-Ball
Tennessee, Tennessaw
Tennessee, Tennessaw Part II: Persimmony Hostess
The Clock Tickin’s

The Mouse Hole

2013

June
No Me Moleste Mosquito
Dads In History
Strawburied

July
Holding Myself Back
Seconds, Please
All That Hot Air Is Enough to Give Me Heatstroke
They Also Serve, Who Only Hold the Flag
Remembering Twins

August
I’m Joining the Hair Loss Club for Men
Lazarus, Come Forth – From the Microwave
This Is Not Your Grandfather’s Two-Man, Crosscut Chainsaw
Remembering an August Occasion

September
In Need of the Fifth’s Protection
In Need of More Protection Than the Fifth Can Give
Baby’s 90th Birthday
Overdrawn
Bee Home By (January) Eleven

October
Monkeys Saw, Monkeys Did—And Still Doing
Mr. Vespucci Goes To Columbusland
The Fail of Two Cities
Sakau

November
Two Springs Forward, One Fall Back
Faster and Furiouser
Terror of a Different Species
Heartfelt Gratitude

December
Thanksgiving, Day 2
Fair Game
Merry Kwanzukkah
If You Can Still Hear the Baby Crying, Just Turn Up the TV
Deja Vu All Over Again

2014

January
This Can’t Be Laundry Day, You Still Have Socks—And They Practically Match
It Just Don’t Measure Up Anymore
The Golden Mean
Aldi’s-heimer’s

February
Woody the Chicken-Hearted Groundhog
Confessions of a Couch Potato
The Way to a Man’s Wallet
Tidbits

March
Incurring the Unfluenza
Miss Congenealogy
Though This Be March, Yet There Is Madness In't
So What If It's Impossible—It'll Just Take A Little Longer
Berger Hardware, Superior WI

April
Tax Vobiscum
Johnny Hart, B.C.
The Crux
The Ice Worm

May
Manifest Distantly
Anti-Paternalism Day
The Theory of rEvolution
The Grass Stain Is Greener On the Other Guy's Pants

June
On a Clear Day You Can Hear Forever
Another Satisfied Cutstomer
Father's Day
Miss Incongruality
Am-iraq-anization

July
Fireworks
Space Scuttle
These Lunatics Want Us to Go to Mars
Spend It Quick Before It Kills You

August
The Great American Smoke Screen
The Devil's Playground
EnLightenment
Prelude in Keytar Minor
Mutterings

September
Golfing Off
Pluto's Pitiable Plight
Savant Idiot
Life at the Bottom

October
The Politician's Confession
Vivi-Apple-Section
Last Hurrah
If You're Not Reading This, You're Hired

November
Hanging On for Dear Leaf
Go West, ManNo Matter How Old You Think You Are
Recounting the Election
The Early Bird Gets...Cooked
Thanksgiving Left Me Speechless, Which Was Just As Well, Because If I Could Have Talked, Anything I Said Would Have Cooked My Goose

December
Who's More Foolish—the Fools, or the Fools Who Sit and Watch Them?
One Shot Deal
Hallowed Utterances or Hollow Mutterances?
Don't Throw the Baby Out with the Wrapping Paper

2015

January
Delegation
Home Sweet OSHA-Compliant Home
Chill Out, Al Gore
2100: Spacey and Odd

February
The Year the Bills Won the Super Bowl
It's Not Really a Snowstorm—It's Just Lake Effect
Valentine to Chaucer to Hershey: Whose Day Is It, Anyway?
Complaint Department Closed Due to the Weather

March
Carbon Copy Dating
Caveat Pre-Emptor
Quick to the Plunder, Swift to the Spoil
Freezing is Not So Bad—When You Consider the Alternative
Aussie Anomaly

April
Quiet, Please – The Rocks Are Crying
The Tax
Synonyms and Antonyms
Catch-17

May
It Might Be Spring in Western New York If...
Familial Vocabulary Lesson
The Breakup of Pa Bell
Cat and Mouse
Somewhere Under the Rainbow

June
They Also Serve Whose Arms Don't Go Around
Flag Day, 1999
Priceless
The One-Skated Wonder

July
The Parsed Allegiance to the Flag
Oi-ills
The Curse of Adam Meets the Curse of Eve
Not Losing Any Sleep Over Losing Sleep

August
Summer Soaker
Bad Reinkarmation
Just Another Stop On Her Listening Tour
One-Speed Willy
The Parrot of My Brother's

September
My Brother's Friend's Parrot
Fitting Payback For One Yorktown Hero?
Not-So Subliminal Message
Totalibanishedtan

October
Perhaps a Mishap
Buffalwoes
Caught Ida-Red-Handed
The Onlyest Newlyest Word